The Boy That Ran
by freeWingsflying
Summary: Matsumoto watches Hitsugaya as he grows from a boy to a man.


_Matsumoto watches Hitsugaya as he grows._

* * *

_~3~_

The first time Hitsugaya runs away, he's just spent one week in the Shinigami Training Academy. Only seven days, and he's already sick of the whole fucking school. There's something about the prudish attitude of _everyone _that he can't stand, and after being shoved on the head by some taller seniors on the afternoon of day seven, Hitsugaya's finally had enough and is all set and ready to bail.

Which he does, long after the night has fallen, during a time wherein no one would have enough energy to have a fully conscious, alert mind:

Hitsugaya slips out of the school compound at four in the morning, while the shinigami slumber on. He doesn't take anything, not even the stupid sword they gave him – it wasn't as though he knew how to use one anyway, apart from _grabbing_ the too-big too-heavy chunk of metal awkwardly with both hands and trying not to drop the thing into his feet.

He's been studying the loopholes in the Academy walls in the past seven days he's been there. He doesn't exactly find one, but he knew _enough_ about the campus grounds. He also knows that four a.m. was a good timing.

He carries his sandals in his hands as he sprints stealthily across the edge of the grounds, towards the exit. Wouldn't want anybody with sharp ears to hear him.

His feet clear the line marking the entrance to the school, and he immediately shoots for the dense forest surrounding the academy. He runs three hundred meters and puts on his sandals. Then he runs another seven hundred. Hitsugaya doesn't know where the hell he's going. He'll find directions tomorrow, or rather, later on in the day. Right now Hitsugaya's just going to run fast and find a nice, tall tree to sleep away the hours till sunlight.

He's barely gotten comfortable on his branch before a voice, cool and female, speaks beside his ear, like the naggy, goody-two-shoes of his conscience: "Going somewhere, Hitsugaya-kun?"

He shrieks and falls out of his tree; her arms shoot out and catch him.

Two _disgustingly _familiar lumps press around the sides of his head. Said head was nested directly and perfectly in the middle of her cleavage. Hitsugaya glares up, straight into the icy irises on Matsumoto Rangiku's face.

He screams at her. A whole string of profanities, picked up from all the rich, arrogant snobs striding all around the Shinigami Academy in his brief time there. He spits in her face too, for good measure.

What he gets for his effort is a good cuff to the back of his head, which smacked said head directly and perfectly into the middle of her cleavage, _again. _Matsumoto rolls her eyes.

"Neither Momo-chan or your grandmother would be proud, you know."

The quiet disappointment in her voice shames Hitsugaya more then he would ever admit, so even though he screams _you fat bitch just let me go already _he lets her, reluctantly, take him back to the Academy with very minimal resistance.

Her ice blue gaze pierces through his mind, his heart, his entire body, and Hitsugaya doesn't sleep well that night, even though Matsumoto has him tucked _safe and snuggled _into his futon for the night.

* * *

_~2~_

3 months later and Hitsugaya is on the run, again. He'd been doing well, both academically and socially. He'd changed his manner of speaking, so that instead of sounding like a crass, unfriendly boy from the village, he became the cool, indifferent boy from the village. His good grades also sparked interest in people, who often came up to him after classes to talk about the subject they were studying.

Evidently he'd done a bit too well on studying, because three months into the Shinigami Academy, the people there want promote him to a higher grade.

_Four _grades higher, in fact.

It pissed Hitsugaya off so much so that he didn't even deigned to stay for the promotion test, which was scheduled on the next day. _Promotion? _Four grades higher? He'll have to kiss goodbye the reputation he'd been building up, kiss goodbye all the people who might have become _friends _with him; he'll be lonely again, crass again, unfriendly again.

_For god's sake, _Hitsugaya thinks. _Give me a break, I'm just a kid. _

No sympathetic reply answers him, so Hitsugaya takes things into his own hands and flees, his second time now, from the Academy, at four a.m. in the morning.

Now he's _so smart_, he knows better, and he casts spells to hide his reiatsu, his body, his footsteps, and leaves the Academy compound, invisible.

There is an absolutely gob-smacked look on his face when Matsumoto Rangiku catches him, _again, _and rewards him with a fond smile and a boobie-to-face greeting that is only authentic to Matsumoto.

"What. The fuck." He says, and she hits him.

"Don't swear in front of an adult!"

_Adult?! _Hitsugaya screams, and then everything had started pouring from his mouth, fear and anger and jealously and worry all crammed into one long tirade. His mouth had never felt dryer in all of his life.

Like his escape three months prior, Matsumoto listens, ice blue eyes indecipherable, and after he was done with his part she had pressed his face into her chest and he'd growled out _I'm never going to let you do this to me again ever. _

Neither of them acknowledges the little boy tears he'd been shedding.

"Grow up, kid," and it wasn't a verbal barb, it was more of a tried and tested ancient phrase-of-wisdom. "You're powerful and smart," she reminds him. "You're the one going to protect Momo-chan and grandmother."

His arms shake as he wraps them around her waist. Her arms, by contrast, are warm and stable and comforting.

She tucks him into bed, again. Hitsugaya thinks of Matsumoto, Momo and grandmother the whole night and doesn't sleep, again.

* * *

_~1~_

The next time Hitsugaya runs is three months before his graduation, the morning after Kasuka dies.

He's feeling so empty and abandoned that he doesn't think any guard is going to pick up any reiatsu from him even if he slips past with no hiding spell in place. His entire being is too fucking _hollow _for anyone, much less himself, to feel anything as of this moment.

As of this moment, to _forever. _Hitsugaya doesn't think he's going to recover from this_. _Not ever.

He'd tried. He'd _tried so fucking hard. _He'd listened to Matsumoto's words (when did he not?) and he'd taken his education and training at 200% seriousness. He was learning _everything _at once. Everyone, especially the snobbish ones, called him _prodigy _and _genius _whenever he was in their presence. The teachers were overjoyed. They told him, _you're going to graduate by the end of this year. _

The climb to the top was synonymous with _isolation_ to Hitsugaya, but he dealt with it. After graduation, he was going to be "Hitsugaya-kun". No longer a boy, but a man. He now had Hyorinmaru with him, and he was on his well earned way to becoming the youngest solider in the Gotei 13, ever.

But the top wasn't as lonely as he'd expected. A boy by the name of Kasuka had introduced himself to Hitsugaya. Like minds, in pursuit of knowledge and experience, in order to protect their loved ones. For the first time in the Shinigami Academy, Hitsugaya had a friend. A _best _friend.

Kasuka is _precious_ to him.

Now he's dead. Hitsugaya killed him.

Kasuka _was _precious to him.

The feeling of disgust was so overwhelmingly bitter that Hitsugaya proceeds to retch all over the bathroom of his new, improved and larger dormitory. He cries, sprawled and alone, on the floor of his bathroom.

_I can't take Hyorinmaru, _he thinks, bitter, regretful, apologetic, and unable to do anything but run.

Or rather: stumble, slip, fall, cry. Then slip, stumble, fall, cry. Then stumble, slip, fall, and cry. Again and again. He's too tired to be ashamed about his tears and his gracelessness.

This time round, Hitsugaya uses shunpo to fly through the whole damn forest and another five districts in, where another smaller forest starts. He stops five trees into that forest. Now he's run out of the will to even move.

Or maybe he just wants Matsumoto to show up. His running had improved, what with shunpo and all. Maybe she needed more time to keep up.

Halfway thought that thought and Hitsugaya thinks, _she's here. _His skills are so good now that he can determine the identity of anyone trying to sneak up on him without conscious effort.

"Oh, Toshiro," she sighs, quiet, tired, but comforting.

This time round, Hitsugaya has nothing to say. Matsumoto doesn't say anything either. She folds him into her bosom (he's too tired to complain now) and holds him close, holds him dear. Her chin rests above his head. Her arms wrap around his small, muscled back.

She cocoons him this way, not speaking, warm, and _there. _She lets him cry, until the moon goes down and the sun starts to rise.

New dawn, gentle, the sun reborn; Matsumoto speaks only then.

"You can't run away now," she says. Her words are his heavy fate, spoken like a lover's promise. "You can't let Kasuka or Hyorinmaru down now."

Hitsugaya shudders. He wonders if she knows that Kasuka's last words were _Why is it_ you_, Toshiro Hitsugaya? Why wasn't it me? _Or that shortly after he'd _won _the right to his zanpakuto over, the first thing he'd told the spirit was _You cursed sword, I don't want you. _

But maybe she suspected, because she squeezed his arms tight. "You were in a fight for the partner of your soul. You killed the other and won. You are stronger the one. You had to kill to get so far. You have _your_ zanpakuto now. You can't throw all these away, now, Toshiro!"

She is the admonishing mother who will chase after him to hell and talk him back. Hitsugaya _knows. _Of course. And Matsumoto is right. Of course.

"Take me back," he breathes. It's so soft that she doesn't catch it, almost.

_I won't do this again, _he promises himself. _I won't run away again. _

But here, right now, in her arms, Hitsugaya clings onto Matsumoto and his final moments of childish, cowardly behavior. She carries him back in her arms, walking slowly.

The Academy they step into is different from the one he ran away from. That one was dark and shady, lit by the moon and her stars, forlorn and intimidating.

This Academy glows from the light of the sun, rising behind it. A new beginning, and a new promise.

* * *

_~0~_

Gotei 13 is reeling in shock from the betrayal of three of its captains. Captain Hitsugaya is no different. He stares at his reflection in the window and contemplates the traitors.

Ichimaru had looked like and acted like the scheming, manipulating bastard that he was. He had been the child prodigy before Hitsugaya, and if Hitsugaya had to trust him on anything, it would be that he was the mastermind behind the whole damn conspiracy.

But Matsumoto trusted him. He flicks his gaze to her empty seat. Hitsugaya trusts Matsumoto, who, he'll bet, still trusts Gin.

Tousen had looked like and acted like the pompous, idealistic bastard that he was. He was a blind man, and as the rumors go, the owner of a zanpakuto that wasn't originally his. That made him, a very, very capable man – he'd worked past all his handicaps to stand on the same level as the other captains in Gotei 13. Hitsugaya himself was a realistic man and never really had faith in ideals: they could be seriously believable and logical and fucked up simultaneously, case in point.

But Captain Kommamura trusted him. The gentle wolf was Tousen's best friend. Hitsugaya trusts Kommamura, who is simple and strong and reliable.

Aizen was nothing like the caring, knowledgeable father figure that he had looked like and acted like. That man had crushed Hinamori without batting an eyelid. He was the true puppeteer, the most dangerous, the mastermind.

But _Hitsugaya _had trusted him. He'd trusted Hinamori with Aizen.

And Hitsugaya thought he could trust himself.

Hyorinmaru stirs inside of him. Frost seeps from his fingers and freeze up the window.

He registers Matsumoto's reiatsu, slightly stronger then usual and completely undisguised as she enters through the other window in their shared office.

The frozen glass shatters as she lands on the floor. He's not sure which one of them broke it. His reiatsu easily stops the glass shards from hitting him, though Hitsugaya was very tempted to let them pass through. Maybe if he bled a little, he'll wake up and start making the world right again. Hyorinmaru growls in response.

He knows Matsumoto is looking at him, without even having to turn his head. The two of them stay like this for a bit, her staring at him and him staring at the now empty rectangular hole in his wall.

"Yes?" he finally says, realizing that she might have something to ask him. He turns to see her shake her head. "Nothing." She shrugs carelessly and averts her eyes. "I was just wondering if you were going to run."

Her unexpected sentence brings fond memories to the surface in Hitsugaya's mind. For the first time in weeks Hitsugaya laughs, and soon after, Matsumoto too.

"I'm not a kid anymore," he tells her. He watches the smile that slides slowly onto her face; the pair of frost-colored eyes, like the ice scattered at his feet, unreadable, like always.

* * *

_~-1~_

The war with Aizen is over. The Shinigami wins, and the Gotei 13 return, bruised, battered, but in victory.

The General loses a limb. He's going to have to make do without. Captain Soifon, on the other hand, gets her arm back after three days in Captain Unohana's care.

Matsumoto spends a week in the fourth division, and emerges with fully intact lungs and liver. Her heart doesn't feel very secure, but there's nothing to be done about that one, Captain Unohana made clear.

Matsumoto doesn't cry. There's no point in crying. The first thing she does when she's able to move on her own is to check up on Hinamori.

The girl, stabbed in the heart, in the back, again. Captain Unohana only says, _give her the rest she so desperately needs. _

Matsumoto stares at her small body from outside, and thinks of Hitsugaya.

She heads off to find him. She can only walk, because Captain Unohana prohibited her from shunpo by placing some kind of horrible restriction spell on her body. She also can't run, because Captain Unohana wasn't lying – her wound, though healed, still hurt quite a bit.

It turns out she didn't have to worry about her slow progress to his cave all that much, though. Hitsugaya has his Bankai Daiguren Hyorinmaru out. Judging by the way only a tenth of the cave was covered in icicles and frost, Hitsugaya wasn't anywhere near done.

She walks in and watches him fight off thousands of imaginary enemies. Fifteen minutes pass this way, and Matsumoto gets the feeling that her Captain might be deliberately ignoring her.

Another fifteen minutes pass, and Hitsugaya finally stops his sword and turns to his lieutenant, who was leaning gently against a boulder. "You should be resting," he declares, staring her in the eye.

Matsumoto gives the grieving version of an eye roll. A deadpan stare, to be precise. She'd lost only part kidney and lung; he'd lost energy from resorting to his strongest technique, and blood from the huge diagonal slash the Espada had given him across his entire body.

He must have busted a few of Captain Unohana's stitches. There's ice holding his skin in place where he was injured.

Toshiro Hitsugaya is no match for Matsumoto Rangiku's icy stare. He drops his sword, and his wings droop with him, like he, the great Ice Dragon, is defeated, finally.

It pains her, to see him like this. At some point in their lives any Shinigami scout must have felt this way: bitter, regretful, hopeless despair at having dragged someone else into all this blood shed and drama.

"You should run," she says. Her voice doesn't sound like her. It came out hollow and flat. The two of them wince, but while Matsumoto backs down, head bowed almost apologetically, Hitsugaya advances, defiant.

"Run?" Her Captain was just as hollow as her. "Run _where? _Run _why?" _

"You should run away, and cry." _For the two of us, _but that part she doesn't tell him. "I'll chase after you," she continues, making what was supposed to be a well-meaning advice sound like a desperate plea. "It'll do you good."

His next words choke all the breath out of her. "Matsumoto, _I can't run away anymore." _

Her energy drains from her body, and Matsumoto nearly collapses on the floor. _Since when? _She thinks. Since when did he become the one looking after her? Since when did he grow so big, so fast? Matsumoto shrinks away from him. He's no longer a boy, now.

_It's my fault, _she thinks, and some kind of hot, unbearable fire spreads from her stomach to her entire body. It feels like guilt. _He wouldn't run. _

Well, then neither will Matsumoto leave. She stands outside his cave, thinking about Gin, Hinamori, Gin, Hitsugaya, and Gin again.

At long last, the day ends, and the perfect full moon rises seemed to deliberately contradict with every single one of Matsumoto's despairing feelings.

This won't ever end. The two of them are too tangled up in fate – the two of them, together, but _fucked up _together. The moon will rise, and the moon will fall, and the days will go on.

_They can't run now. _


End file.
